I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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