hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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