how do flat chested girls get laid?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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