ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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