At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
