you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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