Rock
Scissors
Fuck
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
