the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Houston, we have a squirter
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
