I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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