is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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