It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
