We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
