The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
whose ass print is on the piano?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
