So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
