I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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