i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
