and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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