I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
