dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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