I molested 6 butterflies tonight
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
