I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
