Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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