Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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