Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
PANTIES FOUND
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