why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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