he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
