She is in my trunk
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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