He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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