Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
