Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
im having a threesome with these popsicles
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Are we still banned from the library?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I didn't notice because vodka
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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