we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
