when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
