Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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