So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
