i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
