U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
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