I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
