how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
