Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
