your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
