Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I intend to get homeless drunk
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
