Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
