hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
