So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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