Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You can't special order awesome
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
