she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
