Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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