remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
