she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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