I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sorry about my life...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
