I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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