I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
