my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
