she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
