If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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