Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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